Wanting to strangle friends…


I treasure all my friends.  They all are valuable to me in different ways. One can always make me laugh, another is very wise and unflinching in his honesty.  One is the most generous person I know, another is very inventive and will never bore you.

And with each and every one a moment comes when I would cheerfully (pick one): 

  • bop him or her on the head with something fairly firm
  • drop him off by the side of a road in the middle of nowhere with a pup tent, a Coleman stove, a compass and a book of instructions on surviving in the wilderness
  • Grab a bull horn, switch it on, and announce to a large crowd that So-and-So is a pain in the neck
  • Take a container of Reddi-Whip (canned, pressurized whipped cream for those of you not of this continent) and anoint her face with it
  • Push him off the end of the dock
  • Hit her in the face with a blueberry pie
  • Make a rude gesture with my hand
  • wrap a rubber band around the handle of their sink’s spray nozzle

We all have times we want to hit the ‘delete’ key on our list of friends.   I ran into one of those times yesterday when a dear friend, to whom I owe much, said something so amazingly snarky, I had to turn, walk away, and find a place to sit down and breathe deeply.

It’s one of those facts of living, and the friendship is more valuable to me than my temporary pique.

I am so very glad that I don’t behave in a way that gets others angry.

Do I? 

Nope.  (Just ask me.)